Mother’s Day is meant to be a joyful occasion, a day for handmade cards, breakfast in bed, and perhaps even a rare moment of rest. It’s marketed as a time to celebrate all the love and labour that goes into being a mum. And for some, it is a lovely day.
But for many mothers – especially those feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or on the edge of burnout – Mother’s Day can bring mixed emotions. Many of my clients tell me they actively dread the day.
You love your children. You’re grateful for your family. And yet, this day might leave you feeling tired, tearful, or quietly resentful. You might even feel guilty for not enjoying it more.
If that’s the case, you’re not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong.
Mother’s Day is emotionally loaded for a lot of reasons. Let’s take a look at why this one day can bring up such big feelings, even when motherhood is something you cherish deeply.
And if you are feeling less reflective and more action-oriented, you might like to take a look at last year’s blog too: How to Cope with Mother’s Day When You’re Burned Out.
You're exhausted - and no single day can make up for that
If you’re experiencing parental burnout or simply haven’t had a break in what feels like forever, then it’s no wonder Mother’s Day feels complicated.
You might receive a card or a bunch of flowers and still feel totally depleted. Because what you likely really need is not a gesture, but actual space. Time where no one needs anything from you. Time to be off-duty, without guilt.
Perhaps it would be nice to be celebrated for being you, rather than what you do for others.
If you’re finding it hard to enjoy Mother’s Day, it’s not because you’re ungrateful. It might be because you’re deeply tired after caring so much for so long for everyone else and need more than a bunch of daffs.
You're still working - even today
The reality for many mothers is that Mother’s Day doesn’t come with a day off. The work of parenting still needs to be done.
There are still nappies to change, meals to make, school uniforms to wash, squabbles to mediate, and tears to soothe. The emotional labour, the planning, the constant low-level thinking – it doesn’t stop just because it’s “your day.” No wonder many of my clients wish (and then feel guilty) that they could take off for the day by themselves and truly enjoy a break.
You might also be the one organising your own celebration or arranging plans for your own mother or mother-in-law. Maybe you’re booking the lunch, buying the cards, or trying to ensure everyone else feels included and appreciated.
And that can feel quietly disappointing, especially if you were hoping to be the one cared for, just this once.
The Parental Burnout Quiz
Curious what your own parental burnout score is? Download the free assessment and get your score – plus expert tips on how to reduce it.
Receiving care can feel tricky
You might also find that when people do try to show appreciation or care for you, it stirs something unexpected in you.
Maybe it feels awkward to be the centre of attention. Maybe you’re not quite sure how to accept a compliment. Maybe a part of you feels like you haven’t earned the right to be celebrated.
For many of us, especially if we grew up without our emotional needs being consistently met, being on the receiving end of care can feel unfamiliar; even unsafe. We’ve been taught to give, to support, to hold space for others. But receiving that same kindness? That might feel exposing. Vulnerable. Undeserved. Even threatening.
So when others offer a loving gesture or offer to care for you, it’s not that you don’t appreciate it. It’s that it touches something tender, and possibly painful. That, too, makes sense.
There's a painful gap between the mother you'd like to be and how you currently feel
So many of the mothers I work with have a strong sense of the parent they want to be.
They want to be calm, connected, present. They want to enjoy their children not just survive the days. They want to respond thoughtfully, not react in frustration.
But when you’re overwhelmed, anxious, or burned out, those intentions can feel impossibly far away. You might find yourself snapping more than you’d like, retreating emotionally, or simply going through the motions.
Mother’s Day, with its idealised imagery and sweet sentiments, can magnify that gap between the mum you hoped you’d be and the one you’re actually showing up as right now. That gap can be filled with guilt, shame, and sadness.
If that’s what’s coming up for you this year, know that it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human and most likely, under-supported.
you feel alone even if you're surrounded by people
We don’t talk enough about how many of us feel especially lonely on special days like Mother’s Day when we’re struggling with something but ‘meant’ to be celebrating.
Even when you’re not physically alone, you might feel emotionally unseen. You might be holding grief for a parent you lost or for a relationship that never felt safe or supportive. You might be parenting solo, or in a relationship where the emotional load doesn’t feel shared.
You might be surrounded by love, and still feel disconnected.
That longing for deeper support is valid. And if this day brings those feelings to the surface, there is nothing wrong with you for noticing them.
none of this means you're 'doing it wrong'
It simply means you’re human.
It means you’re likely carrying a lot, often silently, while trying to hold it together for everyone else. It means you might be wishing for space, support, or simply a moment where you don’t have to be strong.
You can love your children deeply and still find this day hard. You can feel grateful and tired, cherished and unseen, all at once.
These experiences aren’t mutually exclusive. They’re just real.
you deserve more support, not just on mother's day, but every day
As a clinical psychologist – and a mother of three – I know how layered this day can feel. I’ve lived it too: the mix of tenderness and tension, joy and resentment, love and longing.
If you’d like some more practical guidance for getting through the day, you might like this companion blog: How to Cope with Mother’s Day When You’re Burned Out.
I work with parents who feel stretched thin by the emotional demands of family life. Parents who are doing their best, but still feel like they’re falling short. Parents who want to feel calmer, more present, and more themselves again.
If that sounds familiar, I want you to know that support is available. I offer online therapy and am working on flexible, low-cost digital resources designed specifically for busy, caring, emotionally overloaded parents.
If you’re ready to invest in yourself and your family by exploring therapy; book an intro call with me here.
