It’s the most wonderful time of the year… or is it? Christmas can be absolutely magical – for children. For modern parents, it can feel like running a marathon. What used to be a one day religious holiday has been transformed by commercialism into a tinsel-covered, mince-pie-fuelled weeks long marathon, with “All I Want for Christmas Is You” ringing in our ears.
The social media driven pressure to make everything ‘perfect’ can feel relentless. Decorate the house like a film set. Buy the perfect presents for everyone and wrap them beautifully. Bake a stollen, a gingerbread house, dozens of mince pies. Make sure there’s an extravagant feast for every day of the holiday. Attend all the school and work events. Travel the length of the country visiting family you’ve not seen all year. And somehow, summon the energy to keep everyone smiling.
It’s a lot. It’s too much. And if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone.
But Christmas doesn’t have to feel like this. With a few small shifts, it’s possible to dial down the stress, reclaim a little joy, and – whisper it – actually enjoy the season yourself.
This week’s blog is full of ideas for little tweaks to help you reduce the pressure and catch a break this year – take what works for your family, leave what doesn’t and have yourself a merry little Christmas!
lighten the load
Let’s agree from the start: you can’t do it all and you don’t have to. A joyful Christmas doesn’t require Pinterest-perfect decorations or a flawless festive schedule. Aim to facilitate a cosy few days off together; not a Hollywood production. It’s about how it feels, not how it looks.
Here are some ideas to take the pressure off this year:
Decide What Matters: Ask yourself, “What will my family actually remember and cherish about this Christmas?” Chances are, it won’t be the colour-coordinated wrapping paper or fancy napkins. Do your kids really need Elf on Shelf and do you really have the energy for that this year? Focus on the things that truly matter to you and let the rest go.
Delegate Freely: Christmas shouldn’t rest entirely on your shoulders. If you have a partner, family members, or older children, let them take on some of the responsibilities. Children love being involved, whether it’s helping to hang decorations or writing gift tags. And if no-one wants to help? Then maybe they don’t actually value those extras and you don’t need to do them. Only do what one person can comfortably handle.
Say No When You Need To: It’s ok to decline invitations or skip events that feel like too much. A simple “We’re keeping things low-key this year” is perfectly polite – and often a relief to hear for other busy parents too.
plan ahead to avoid overwhelm
Once you’ve decided what is (and isn’t) worth doing this year, let’s plan ahead a little to prevent the pressure building up so much that you’re having a Bailey’s-fuelled meltdown trying to orchestrate all the timings of the Christmas dinner.
Here’s some ideas on how to get ahead:
Simplify Your Gift List: Write down everyone you’re buying for and stick to it. Focus on the key people who really matter and buy simple, thoughtful gifts rather than panic buying anything you can find for everyone you know. Group gifts (like a family board game) can be just as special and far less overwhelming than endless individual presents. You might even decide that you’re only going to buy for the children or (as we do in our family) only for your immediate family members. You might be surprised that by agreeing not to buy each other gifts, everyone feels relieved.
Streamline the Feast: Choose a few favourite dishes that feel special to you, and let go of the rest. No one is expecting a five-course extravaganza and most little kids just want to play with their new toys, not sit down for food. A simple, cosy meal can feel just as festive, especially if it means you’re relaxed enough to enjoy it. Most years in this house, I cook whatever I feel like and we’ve never had a turkey because none of us care for it.
Build in Breathers: When you’re planning your calendar, leave some gaps. A little downtime between school plays, shopping trips, and family visits so you’re not racing from one thing to the next can make all the difference to how you feel by the end of the day.
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find small moments for yourself
That last point about building in breathers is so important but it can feel impossible to slow down or prioritise self-care when you’re juggling a million things. This is where actively planning to not juggle a million things is important and then focusing on really small, simple acts of self care that you can slot into your day without adding to your to-do list.
Here are a few ideas:
Pause to Breathe: Stop for a moment, wherever you are, and take five deep breaths. Inhale deeply, exhale slowly. It’s one of the simplest ways to calm your nervous system and reset.
Step Outside: Fresh air works wonders, even if you only have time for a quick walk to the end of the road. If you can’t leave the house, try standing by an open window or stepping into the garden.
Stay Hydrated: It sounds small, but dehydration can make stress feel worse. Keep a glass of water nearby, especially if you’re running on coffee and mulled wine.
Notice the Joy: Pause throughout the day and remember to savour one small moment that brought you happiness – a giggle from your child, the smell of the Christmas tree, or watching The Snowman together. Let yourself soak it in.
Take Tiny Breaks: Even five minutes to sit, stretch, or listen to a favourite song can help you feel more grounded and capable. Rushing about constantly keeps your body thinking there’s a crisis, show it that you’re safe by slowing down and stopping every now and then.
embrace the power of 'good enough'
You don’t need Christmas to be ‘magical’; you really don’t. And magical isn’t something that can be scripted and orchestrated; some of the best memories come from the unplanned and unexpected moments. See if you can resist the urge to make Christmas magical and see what bubbles up naturally.
Let Go of Perfectionism: Your children won’t remember if the icing on the biscuits was uneven or the wrapping paper didn’t match. Honestly, they won’t even remember most of the presents or even performing in the Nativity when they’re older. What they’ll remember is the vibe of Christmas – the times you spent together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.
Focus on Connection: The most meaningful moments often come from the simplest things: watching Christmas films together in pyjamas, a walk to see the Christmas lights, or cuddling on the sofa reading The Night Before Christmas. The feeling of belonging and being loved will stay with your children long after the season ends and that ‘must-have’ toy has lost its appeal.
Remember Your Why: What do you want your children to feel this Christmas? Most parents tell me something along the lines of ‘loved’, ‘safe’, ‘connected’ – that’s what matters most. And commercialism will try to tell us that we’ll get those feelings from expensive presents and elaborate decorations but you know in your heart that it comes from how we make each other feel by being present, accepting, loving and fun. So forget what Christmas looks like on a Instagram-worthy photo dump and think about how it feels.
it's your christmas too
Christmas is about family, but here’s something we often forget: that includes you.
Your joy, your rest, and your well-being matter just as much as anyone else’s. You don’t exist solely to facilitate other people’s Christmas experiences. You’re not the event planner, the gift-wrapper-in-chief, or the designated keeper of everyone else’s holiday cheer. You’re a person, and your needs deserve space too.
So, let’s take a moment to ask: what do you want this Christmas? What would make the season feel good for you?
Maybe it’s a quiet walk on Christmas morning. Maybe it’s the joy of watching old Christmas films with mince pies by the tree. Maybe it’s just the peace of knowing you’re not trying to do it all.
Let’s do it differently this year. By planning ahead, letting go of unnecessary pressures, and creating small moments of joy for yourself, you can shape a Christmas that feels calmer, simpler, and more meaningful for everyone.
Because the truth is, the best gift you can give your family isn’t a mountain of presents or a perfectly cooked dinner. It’s you – present, connected, and as rested as possible.
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