In my first two blogs in this four part series, The Christmas Survival Guide for Exhausted Parents and How to Set Boundaries at Christmas, I talked about reducing overwhelm by letting go of perfectionism and learning to say no. But even with those things in place, the reality is that there’s lots of unavoidable stress this time of year and we need to care for ourselves as well as we do others, otherwise we’ll burn out.
So, with 12 days to go until Christmas today, I want to gift you something far more useful than pipers piping or maids-a-milking; a gift of 12, small, achievable daily acts of self-care.
And, listen, I know the term ‘self-care’ might make you wince; but hear me out. Self-care doesn’t have to be grand, expensive or time-consuming and it’s not about being selfish or having another expectation to live up to. Self-care for parents is about small, intentional acts that fit into your day and help you recharge, reconnect and cope with the inevitable busyness of this season.
These 12 small self-care practices won’t make your to-do list disappear, but they can help you feel calmer, more grounded, and even a little lighter as Christmas approaches.
why 12 days of christmas self-care?
As parents, we pour so much into making Christmas magical for everyone else; buying thoughtful presents, organising events, seasonal baking, decorating, hosting etc. When you’re the ‘magic-maker’, it’s easy to feel like self-care is selfish, or that there’s simply no room for it amidst everything else you’re juggling.
But here’s what I want you to remember: Christmas doesn’t have to be picture perfect. The magic isn’t in the Instagram-worthy decorations or the perfectly iced gingerbread house. It’s in the moments of connection, joy, and presence.
And it’s really hard to create those moments when you’re running on empty. Self-care isn’t indulgent; it’s essential. It’s what allows you to show up as the version of yourself your family loves best: present, and able to enjoy the season alongside them.
So, forget the turtle doves and golden rings, here are 12 simple ways to care for yourself and reclaim some joy this season.
day 1: slow down your breathing
Why it helps: Deep breathing calms your nervous system, pulling you out of ‘fight-or-flight’ and into ‘rest-and-digest’ mode. It’s a reset button for your mind and body.
Try this: When you’re feeling overwhelmed (like during the dinner rush or while wrapping presents), pause. Inhale slowly and then exhale even slower than that (it’s the longer exhale that does the trick). Pair it with a calming thought like “This is enough. I am enough”.
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day 2: write down 3 things you're grateful for
Why it helps: Our minds naturally focus on problems and dismiss the good stuff. Intentionally practicing gratitude shifts your focus from problems and what we don’t have to everything that’s going well. It’s another way to move out of ‘doom and gloom’ mode and into a more restful headspace.
Try this: Before bed, jot down three things that you’re grateful for – even simple things like the joy of having a little one who still believes in Father Christmas or that everyone’s in good health this year – get creative and granular and you’ll soon easily come up with more than three things a day.
day 3: drink an extra glass of water
Why it helps: It’s surprisingly easy to forget to drink enough water when we’re busy and rushing about but even mild dehydration makes stress feel worse. Staying hydrated supports focus, energy, and mood.
Try this: Leave a glass by the kettle or coffee machine as a reminder to drink water while you’re waiting for your drink to brew. Add a festive twist with a slice of orange or a cute straw.
day 4: say no to one thing
Why it helps: Saying no creates space and energy for all the things that truly matter and allows you to show up as the best version of yourself to the events and responsibilities that are important to you.
Try this: Look at your to-do list and cross off something unnecessary. Do the neighbours really need handmade biscuits? No? Then let it go. If you need more tips on setting boundaries and saying no without guilt, don’t forget to read my previous blog on setting boundaries here.
day 5: take a 5-min walk outside
Why it helps: Getting out of the house (especially the house is full and tempers are getting fraught) clears your mind and releases endorphins, which reduce stress. Nature, movement and daylight (even on gloomy days) are instant mood-boosters.
Try this: Step outside for just five minutes. Mindfully notice the outside world and get out of your mind for a moment – notice the birds, the crisp air, a neighbour’s twinkling lights or the crunch of frost underfoot.
day 6: SPEND 10 MINUTES READING
Why it helps: Reading lets your brain disconnect from the worries and problems that are circling around and escape somewhere else for a moment giving your nervous system time to rest and relax a little.
Try this: Keep a light-hearted book, magazine, or audiobook nearby for the next time you get the urge to scroll your phone. Even 10 minutes here and there can feel like a small escape and reset.
DAY 7: DO ONE FUN THING WITH YOUR KIDS
Why it helps: We’re mammals – wired for connection with others; it really is one of the best antidotes to stress and it reminds you of what the season is really supposed to be about.
Try this: Keep it simple and do something that you all enjoy – it’s not really quality time if you’ve got one eye on the clock. Depending on your energy levels you could try baking, having a cosy movie night, walking the dog, colouring in – anything that you both actually enjoy doing.
day 8: tidy up one small space
Why it helps: Not everyone is as affected by clutter as me (I keep a bin bag handy for when my 3 kids open their presents and chuck the wrapping paper in it straightaway!) but if it stresses you too, you might find you feel calmer after tidying even a small area.
Try this: Spend 5 minutes clearing your bedside table, the kitchen counter, or the kids’ craft corner. A tiny change can make the space feel more spacious and calmer.
day 9: Treat yourself to your favourite hot drink
Why it helps: A warm drink slows you down and invites you to enter ‘rest-and-digest’ mode and savour the moment.
Try this: Make something festive like a spiced latte or a mulled wine and sit by the tree and enjoy the twinkly lights.
day 10: stretch for 5 minutes
Why it helps: Do you notice that stress accumulates in tension in your neck, jaw or fists? Stretching relieves tension and improves circulation, helping you feel refreshed.
Try this: Roll your shoulders, touch your toes, or do a seated twist. Stretching while the kids colour or play can feel like a mini reset. If time allows, a quick YouTube yoga video can work wonders – Yoga with Adriene is my go-to.
day 11: savour the joyful moments
Why it helps: Similar to practicing gratitude, purposefully savouring and reflecting on joyful moments (some people call these ‘glimmers’ and they’re the opposite of ‘triggers’) shifts your focus to what’s going well and what really matters.
Try this: Slow down while something is happening – the Nativity, the tree lighting etc – and really notice what’s going on, really look at your children’s little faces, listen to their voices, really feel the warmth of their hand in yours.
day 12: put your phone down for an hour
Why it helps: Constant notifications, doom scrolling or and getting FOMO or irritation from social media is a stress you don’t need. Give your nervous system a break from the digital world and be in this moment, here, now.
Try this: Put your phone on silent and use that hour for something you want to do – maybe something you don’t normally do such as baking mince pies, or just enjoying an old Christmas film or catching up with your partner over a glass of something festive.
your child wants you to enjoy christmas too
A lot of parents feel uncomfortable with ‘self-care’ as it seems so selfish, so opposite to the role of care-giver. But self-care isn’t selfish; it’s what allows you to show up for the people you love. Self-care is child-care.
When you’re burned out, it’s hard to enjoy the season or be the parent you want to be. But when you give yourself permission to rest, recharge, and reconnect, you’re not just helping yourself. You’re giving your kids the gift of a warm, peaceful parent – someone they’ll remember far more than the presents under the tree.
Christmas doesn’t have to leave you burned out. By weaving in these small moments of self-care, you can feel calmer, more grounded, and maybe even enjoy the season more than you thought possible.
need help managing stress?
If you’re looking for more support, check out my free resource, The Busy Parent’s Guide to Soothing Stress and Beating Burnout. It’s full of practical, evidence-based strategies to help you navigate the challenges of parenting with less stress and more balance.
