Parenthood is fluctuating mixture of joy and stress. Some days are filled with laughter, connection, and pride, while others are filled with frustration, exhaustion, and overwhelm.
But when the balance tips too far toward stress for too long, and the joy starts to drain away, many parents find themselves facing parental burnout.
Burnout doesn’t just steal your energy – it robs you of the pleasure of being a parent. If you’re feeling like parenting has become more of a grind than a joy, you’re not alone.
In this blog, we’ll explore how burnout affects your ability to enjoy parenting and, more importantly, what you can do to bring the joy back. You’ll discover key insights about parental burnout and simple strategies to start rediscovering the pleasure in your daily life as a parent.
If you’ve been feeling like you’re just getting through the day rather than enjoying it, this guide is for you.
WHAT IS PARENTAL BURNOUT?
PARENTAL Burnout steals your joy
Burnout doesn’t just drain your energy—it robs you of joy.
Many of my clients describe feeling as though the stress of parenthood has turned life into one giant to-do list. They’re constantly managing school runs, chores, and work without ever feeling like they can enjoy the little moments. Their relationship with their children often becomes focused on getting through the day rather than the meaningful connection they once had. Many can’t remember the last time they laughed.
These parents feel awful that they’re not enjoying parenting but are often too overwhelmed to make changes.
The Parental Burnout Quiz
Curious what your own parental burnout score is? Download the free assessment and get your score – plus expert tips on how to reduce it.
REbuilding joy is crucial to overcoming burnout
When clients come to me seeking therapy for parental burnout, we work not just on reducing stress and negative emotions, but on reintroducing joy. Joy is one of the most powerful tools for combating burnout. The more we can incorporate light, pleasurable moments into your day, the less overwhelming life feels.
Scheduling joyful activities might seem counterintuitive, indulgent or insufficient when you’re feeling completely stressed out, but moments of joy recharge your emotional batteries.
By finding small pockets of time for things that make you happy, you’ll notice a shift in your energy and mindset. You already know the saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’; it’s often repeated because it’s true and joy is one of the best ways to refill it.
The surprising homework i give to clients
Clients are often surprised when the ‘homework’ I give them between sessions is to find some things that bring them joy and do more of them. I prescribe fun.
You might be thinking (as many of my clients protest), “I don’t have time for that!”. And it’s true that most parents are very time-poor, but I’m talking about activities that aren’t time-consuming or complicated.
I’m not recommending days out or holidays (but please do schedule those if they’re available to you), that’s not realistic for most of us. I’m talking about simple, accessible things like sitting with a cup of tea in the quiet, watching a Netflix comedy special, or dancing in your kitchen to your favourite music from your teenage years.
By introducing these small moments of joy into your daily life, you can start to lift the heaviness of chronic stress.
build a feel good menu
I saw a recent trend circulating Instagram where people were posting their ‘dopamine menu’; basically a list of activities they could do to bring them joy and pleasure instead of mindlessly scrolling social media.
But, being the geeky pedant that I am, I decided to rename mine the Feel Good Menu. That’s because many of the activities people are listing don’t actually stimulate dopamine alone—there are multiple feel-good hormones at play! Have a look at mine here.
What would you put on your own Feel Good Menu? Think of small, simple activities that bring a spark of joy to your day. Maybe it’s reading a few pages of a book, taking a long shower, or spending a few minutes doing something creative.
The key is to start small. You don’t need to overhaul your entire routine or find hours of free time in your day. Even five minutes of doing something you enjoy can help you feel lighter and more present.
Have it somewhere accessible so you’re never short of ideas – you could have it on your phone, or stick it up on the fridge. You could block out times in your diary to make sure they happen.
feeling burned out? perhaps its time to talk to someone
Does finding joy in your day feel impossible right now? Do you feel like life has become an endless grind of chores, stress, and responsibilities? If the idea of adding something joyful to your day sounds silly or out of reach, it might be a sign that burnout has taken hold.
Speak to a trusted friend or family member about how you’re feeling and see whether you can make a plan together. Even just beginning to open up to someone about how you feel can give you some relief.
If you’d prefer, or need, more professional help then I wrote another article about how to go about finding a therapist to work with on overcoming parental burnout here.
Helping parents overcome stress, burnout, and overwhelm is my specialism and passion. I can help you work through these feelings and find balance again. And while parental burnout can feel really heavy, therapy doesn’t have to. We’ll focus not just on reducing stress and negative thoughts and feelings but also on rediscovering joy and reconnecting with the parts of your life that bring you fulfilment. I always try to infuse a sense of humour and playfulness (where appropriate) into my sessions; it should be something you look forward to, something that adds to your resources not stressors.
You deserve to enjoy your life and your family, not just survive each day. If you’re curious about how therapy can help, feel free to book a no-pressure free intro call. Together, we can work through the blocks to your happiness.
