We’re deep into the summer holidays now, and if you’re anything like the parents I’ve spoken with recently, there’s a good chance you’re feeling a bit… done.
The novelty of having no school run has worn off. You’re out of ideas (and cash) for family outings. The house is noisier and messier than ever. You’re handling endless snack requests, breaking up squabbles, trying to figure out who needs new uniform and/or shoes for next term and wondering how on earth it’s only halfway through August.
If you’ve caught yourself counting down the days until term starts, or wondering how you’ll get through the rest of the summer with your sanity intact, you’re absolutely not alone.
We’ll all get there. But now’s the time to drop the idea that summer should be magical so you’re not completely burnt out by the time they reopen those school doors.
Summer then vs summer now
The summer I feel I’m expected to give my kids feels worlds away from the summers I enjoyed as an ’80s kid.
When I was at primary school, parents weren’t expected to entertain their kids – there were no curated activities, day trips, foreign holidays and there wasn’t even a holiday club on our estate. We just played out. For hours. Knocking about on our bikes, hanging around the streets, calling for each other, coming home when we were hungry. Then we headed straight back out again.
Our parents weren’t under pressure to ‘make memories’. They weren’t being sold an idea of a magical, meaningful childhood that had to be actively constructed. They were simply getting through the day; and they often had no clue where we were all day. No one expected more.
Of course, we live in a different world now. We’re more involved with our children’s lives and more safety-conscious, which is a positive shift in many ways. But the culture has also moved towards more perfectionism, more comparison, and more performance pressure. Especially on mothers.
There’s an expectation now – online and offline – that summer should be this special season where we create magic, build memories, and soak it all in.
But this version of summer with perfectly behaved children, endless energy, patience, fun (and money) and everyone smiling on the beach doesn’t really exist. And trying to keep up with that fantasy doesn’t make us better parents. It just makes us exhausted ones.
And when parents are exhausted, they’re far more likely to be irritable, shut down or snappy – the opposite of the calm, connected, fun presence most of us hope to be.
are you burning out?
You might not be waving a white flag, but the early signs of burnout can be subtle and easy to dismiss.
You might notice your fuse is shorter than usual. That you’re withdrawing from your children more often. Or you’re struggling to enjoy things you’d normally look forward to. You might be waking up already tired, fantasising about silence, or feeling like you’re constantly ‘on’, even when nothing major is happening. Maybe you’ve got a headache or tense shoulders that just won’t go away.
These don’t say anything about you or your worth as a parent – they’re signs your body has been carrying too much stress, for too long. Burnout isn’t about failure; it’s about not having the capacity to meet all the demands on you.
If you’re noticing these signs, now’s not the time to push through or pretend it’s fine. It’s time for a mid-summer reset.
The Parental Burnout Quiz
Curious what your own parental burnout score is? Download the free assessment and get your score – plus expert tips on how to reduce it.
is it time for a mid-summer reset?
If you’ve noticed the early signs that your stress load is becoming unmanageable – the irritability, the reactivity, the bone-deep tiredness – it’s time for a reset. And that doesn’t have to mean a complete life overhaul but you probably need a shift in pace and pressure. It’s time to stop pushing and start rebalancing.
Here are a few small adjustments that might make a big difference.
Revisit Your Own Capacity
Plan the rest of the holidays based on your real capacity – the actual emotional, physical, and financial resources you have available. Not what you could handle last year, forget what your friends can manage or what other families seem to be doing on Instagram. They all have different resources than you.
Honestly, you’re probably not even the same person you were in July. The added emotional, mental and physical load of 4 weeks (or more in some countries) of caring for your kids has likely taken it’s toll on you and your capacity is likely lower now in mid-August.
Now might be a good time to go for fewer day trips, more screen time, simpler meals, and saying no to crafts if they tip you over the edge.
Choose Connection Over Perfection
The ‘You only get 18 summers’ posts are well-meaning, but they often miss the point. Yes, this time matters. But not because of the schedule or the aesthetics. Because of the relationship.
What your children will remember – what will actually shape their childhood – is how it felt to be with you. The little things. Five minutes of Uno before dinner. Sitting shoulder to shoulder watching Bluey. That quiet moment on a park bench, sharing a packet of crisps.
Your child isn’t measuring your parenting against a Pinterest board. They’re not tallying up the number of outings or craft projects. What stays with them is the feeling of being loved. Not entertained.
You don’t need big magic. You just need moments. And a little capacity left to notice them.
Add Something Just for You
This summer is yours too. It might not be possible to carve out long stretches of solo time, but that doesn’t mean you have to disappear completely. You’re still here. Still a person. Still allowed to enjoy things that are for you.
Maybe that’s a coffee in the garden before everyone wakes up. A podcast. A few pages of your book while the kids play. Texting a friend, a solo supermarket run, a moment to choose your own TV show at the end of the day.
You’re not just the organiser, snack-prepper and feelings-processor. Treat yourself like another person who deserves care, fun and rest and see how things shift in yourself and in the home.
looking ahead, gently
As we move through these final weeks, try to keep in mind that your goal isn’t to create magic – it’s to make it through feeling mostly okay. We want you intact by September, not crawling over the finish line. Still connected to yourself. Still with some emotional fuel in the tank.
If enjoyment is still a stretch, then let’s just aim for manageable. That’s more than enough. Because the truth is, your children don’t need an endless stream of special moments. They need you; mostly present, mostly regulated and someone who feels easy to be around.
And to give them that, you have to include yourself in the equation too.
want support with this?
If you’ve read this and thought, “That all sounds great, but I still don’t know how to do it differently”, then maybe it’s time for something deeper.
I work with parents who are stretched thin and trying to hold it all together. We look beneath the surface: the perfectionism, the pressure, the guilt and build something that feels more spacious. More sustainable. More like you.
If that sounds like something you need, you can learn more about working with me by clicking here.
Or, start with my free eBook: The Busy Parent’s Guide to Soothing Stress and Beating Burnout. It’s full of practical, evidence-based strategies to help you navigate the challenges of parenting with less stress and more balance.
